"From Outside, In"

Mellix's title can be explained as a description of her journey throughout her life "from outside, in." As a child and young adult, speaking "proper" English was always difficult for her and made her feel as if she were speaking another people's language, as if she was an outsider. However, as she grew older and became more educated, her use of "proper" English became more natural and she was proud to speak and compose properly.

Mellix used Black English when she was at home with her family and with other people that spoke Black English. She used Standard English when she was in public, in school, or when she was around anyone who seemed superior to herself. Growing up she was uncomfortable with this "doubleness" and felt as if it were a "built-in enemy." It made her want to prosper, but at the same time, held her back.

As a young woman, Mellix felt that it was proper to speak Standard English to whites so that she didn't sound inferior. Mellix spoke Standard English to Standard-English-Speaking Blacks because she was ashamed to sound improper and wanted to fit in. The pain of having to use Standard English was that Mellix had to think before she spoke and it took her a long time to form sentences. It also forced her to speak softly and shyly.

Mellix's father told stories about times when he went to the "outside world" and after speaking Standard English, was treated better. Mellix's mother would randomly correct them for speaking Black English, which would embarrass them causing them to be mocked by their siblings.

After taking her college composition course, Mellix felt more comfortable, even proud, to use Standard English. At first, Mellix thought that her writing was more powerful because she believed she was explaining the thoughts and beliefs of others. However, she soon realized that she was transformed to be able to use her best classroom language to convey her own thoughts and ideas using Standard English.